


Magic Missiles - Punishment

by TheInfamousDoctorF



Category: TF2 - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Blowjobs, M/M, Spanking, dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 04:13:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2799125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheInfamousDoctorF/pseuds/TheInfamousDoctorF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soldier is dying for some proper discipline from his mystical roommate and he's willing to be as annoying as possible to get it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Magic Missiles - Punishment

Merasmus grit his teeth; he wasn't sure how much more of this nonsense he could endure without blowing a gasket. Whilst walking to investigate what would surely be another emergency with inanimate casualties, he cursed the heads of Mann Co for giving the insufferable Mr. Jane Doe, AKA Soldier, the option to take all of his vacation time at once. He'd been home nearly a week already and they still had two more to go.  
The old wizard turned the corner into the kitchen and gasped in horror at the clots of wet, red mess that clung to every surface in a six foot radius around the small dining table. A raccoon looked up briefly from licking at the gunk before resuming its meal. Soldier rocked on his heels, in one hand was a bowie knife and in the other; a hammer. The ruined remains of a jumbo can of tomato soup was smashed against the table and seemed to be ground zero for this latest disaster.  
"Um, sorry, Merasmus. I couldn't find a can opener and I saw Demo do it this way once..."  
"Just stop Jane. I don't want to hear it."  
What he could see of the Soldier's face twisted into an unreadable expression. "Are you going to punish me?"  
Merasmus growled, "I don't see what good it would do in altering your behavior any. But fine, if that's what you want." He cleared his throat and continued in a more commanding tone. "Clean up this mess right now."  
Jane was fighting the urge to smile but Merasmus couldn't imagine why being yelled at would please him.  
"And then what do I do?" Soldier asked coyly.  
The odd question caught the Wizard off guard. "And then what...? TAKE OUT THE TRASH JANE, and WALK THESE VILE RACCOONS SOMEWHERE SO I CAN HAVE SOME PEACE AND QUIET FOR A WHILE." He turned on his heel and left Soldier alone in the kitchen. But he couldn't shake the feeling that his disaster of a roommate was somehow disappointed in him.

 

* * * * * * * * *

 

The wizard didn't exactly cut a regal figure in his robes and a pair of fuzzy slippers, but the book on Alchemy that he was currently reading was sufficiently large and impressive. He could feel his tense shoulders unknotting slowly as he turned his attentions to contemplation. The boiling of the fluids, over and over until the rainbow showed itself in the rarefied dew. A slow realization rolled over him. The almost constant buzz of noise from the back of the house had suddenly ceased. Merasmus gripped the book more tightly. As any parent knows; silence is the most dangerous noise a child can make.  
The appearance of a helmet and accompanying facial features beside the chair caused him to utter a squeak of fright in a most undignified manner and swat Soldier across the brow with his book. "Masters below! What the Hell do you want Jane?!"  
The Soldier rubbed his head, the blow hadn't hurt, but it had made his helmet ring uncomfortably. "Hey Merasmus, you uh, remember that time you turned me into a raccoon?"  
The wizard groaned.  
"Could you do that again please? It was a lot of fun and I need to get on the roof without breaking a hole in it again, I know you hate that and..."  
"Gods no Jane! I still have scars from your infernal teeth, and why... wait." His eyes narrowed dangerously, shedding a few glimmers of green. "Why do you need to get on the roof?"  
Soldier sensed the change in tone and stood at attention. "Because your staff is stuck in the rain gutter," he replied simply.  
Merasmus could feel his heart speeding up to an unhealthy pace, and with visible effort he forced himself towards a calmer rhythm. "Show me," he growled.

 

* * * * * * * * *

Normally walking out into a perfect sunny day would make a person smile, but it only made the old wizard squint in agitation. He shaded his eyes as he scanned the guttering for the protruding curved tip of his favorite staff. A few muttered words and it yanked itself free of the clotted leaves and floated down to his hand. He noticed a ghost of smile on Jane’s lips and the other mans merriment agitated him. Was he being deliberately annoying just to goad his unconventional roommate into displaying his powers?  
"You look angry Merasmus. Are you going to punish me?"  
There was that question again. But Merasmus had run out of chores to assign for the day, there really wasn't that much left to do. He floundered for a moment and then gestured grandly to Jane. "Yes, go now and... DO 100 PUSH-UPS."  
Jane saluted smartly, "Yes sir! Anything else?"  
What else could the man possibly want? Frustrated and completely at a loss, Merasmus did the first thing that came to mind to take the edge off his anger with Jane. The wizard took a long swing and swatted the Soldier's ass with his staff hard enough to jar, but not fell him. This time he couldn't miss Soldier's reaction. The visible part of his face was flushed and he was trying to catch his breath and smile at the same time. "Thank you sir!" He shouted, and dropped down to begin doing his push-ups.  
The old wizard watched him for a few minutes; trying to fathom his weird behavior, before finally giving up to go back inside.

 

* * * * * * * * *

Soldier’s efforts to goad Merasmus into violence only got more frequent in the days that followed. And after a particularly irritating exchange, an infuriated wizard found himself casting about for something to throw at his roommate. A greater show of force would have been preferable, but he had no intention of leaving his helpless body anywhere near Soldier. Not even for the sake of being ghostly and more impressive.  
To be fair, solider had ground mayo into a small rug and then hid it rather then cleaning it. The stench from the closet when it was finally opened was appalling enough to make even one accustomed to the smell of sulphur gag and nearly retch. By chance Merasmus grabbed the disciplinary action. It was Jane's riding crop and the wizard had no idea why it was on the table by the front door. Though a small part of his mind suspected it had to do with chasing religious purveyors off their mutual doorstep.  
He brandished the crop and smacked a surprised Jane Doe smartly across his ass.  
The sudden and sensual moan that escaped the mercenaries lips made the old man start and blush in slight confusion. Soldier pulled his helmet even lower to hide his beet red face. He avoided his roommates piercing gaze.  
"Jane... Merasmus would like to know why you wish him to hit you."  
Soldier mumbled disarmingly, "a man just needs discipline sometimes."  
Merasmus felt an uncomfortable realization forming in his brain. "Is this part of your fascination with the military? Do you just need someone to yell at you?"  
The larger man shuffled his feet, "maybe."  
Merasmus thought of all the times Soldier had accidentally broken things just because he was impatient and stubborn. How many injuries because he couldn't wait to rush into the fray? He was as self-indulgent as a child sometimes. "You don't have much self-discipline, do you?" The wizard twiddled the crop idly, just vocalizing thoughts as they occurred to him. "You know you can't control yourself, and you want someone to keep you in line...?" He smiled, and there was just a bit of cruelty in the twist of his lips. "And if Merasmus were too... give you what you want, could you cease this endless destroying of our domicile?"  
Soldier shook his head so vigorously; the clanging of his hat made his ears ring.  
"Perhaps you could furnish Merasmus with some precise instructions?" The older man fidgeted; loathe to admit that he didn't have any experience with this kind of thing.  
But Jane was already bumbling up the stairs, scattering raccoons as he ran to his room.

 

* * * * * * * * *

The sheaf of papers was slightly dog-eared and yellow, and Merasmus didn't want to think too hard about where they had come from. He could hear Jane breathing heavily in the hall as he tried to conceal the fact that he was waiting for the wizard to finish reading it. The mage huffed; there was also the possibility that Jane had written it himself. And the idea of the Soldier writing BDSM smut about his fellow mercenaries raised a whole new set of questions.  
As a wizard who worked with water and fish spirits, the idea of a TentaSpy certainly did intrigue him. He was less certain that the quiet Sniper he had met on several occasions would be so casual about being bound, spanked and probed with tentacles.  
Either way, it was enough information to formulate a plan. He cracked his skinny knuckles with a sound like twisting celery before calling Jane back into the room.  
Soldier's room was out of the question, he insisted on having a small space to sleep in. Merasmus suspected it was some kind of anxiety issue. The wizard sighed dejectedly; it would have to be his bed or the couch. And the windows were far too big in the living room to do something involving even partial nudity.  
He had enough trouble with the locals already without risking them seeing him doing something suspicious to another man.  
"Merasmus has just one more question." He paused and the words came out as the barest whisper, tinged with uncertainty. "Why me? Soldier… why me?"  
Jane smiled, so genuine and open it was almost unnerving. "You are a powerful friend, and a formidable foe. I respect that in a man. I would trust you with my life."  
The old wizard was shocked, he had no idea Jane felt so strongly about their tumultuous, pseudo-friendship. "That might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me Jane." A little wave of guilt washed over him, and try as he might; it was impossible to ignore entirely. "You feel that way about me...?" He said softly. "Even though I tried to kill you and all your friends?"  
The Soldier laughed. "That was just some fun Merasmus! I have your pills and everyone else has respawn. We were never in any real mortal danger. Fighting is what men do! It's good for the soul!" He smirked, "I think we should cook up a reason to do it again next year."  
Merasmus could actually sense his hat's single eyeball goggling in disbelief. The old skull couldn't talk, but it did tend to mirror its owners expression. He'd almost died for real after spitting out his own ghost in a rage and then having his vacant body incinerated by his idiot roommate. The wizard had several good reasons to want to discipline Soldier, but remembering the effort he'd had to expend to rebuild himself was high on the list. "I think," he said, his voice intentionally low, "we should begin."  
Soldier coughed meaningfully, "I'd like to do one more thing first." He slipped closer to Merasmus, though his face was more level with the wizard's crazy skull hat then its owner. He resisted the urge to poke at the googly eyeball that watched him warily. Jane studied the necromancer's face for a moment, and the man stared back at him with a mixture of irritation and fatigue. Jane bit his lip, the crows feet that spread from Merasmus's softly glowing eyes looked almost like a fair ladies lashes. The wizard studied him in turn, pushing down the usual discomfort he felt when confronting someone with the jaw and barrel chest of a hero. Merasmus had suffered enough abuse at those kinds of hands to last him a hundred more lifetimes. Maybe this was what he needed as well; a chance to exorcise some personal demons via domination.  
As he stood there lost in thought, Jane's warm paw of a hand lifted up and cupped one thin and bony cheek. Jane's voice was gruff as he whispered huskily; "Merry, may I kiss you?"  
The wizard felt his cheeks heat up at being called such a cute nickname. What was the man thinking? "Jane, I've never..."  
"I know."  
He leaned down and pressed his full lips against the necromancer's thinner ones. Merasmus let his own lips part slightly, and then started in surprise as Jane's tongue slithered inside. They grappled for a moment and then Soldier allowed himself to be pushed away so Merasmus could catch his breath. The feel of his roommates oddly forked tongue had sent a rush of blood southwards and his pants were feeling uncomfortably tight. The wizard glanced down and gulped, he felt weirdly hot and tingly. It reminded him of how it felt to partially cast a spell and just let the magick thicken in the air without releasing it. "Um, how would you like to do this Jane? Merasmus can't just lay into you for no reason."  
"I could annoy you."  
"Oh, like you don't do that normally," the wizard shot back.  
Suddenly Soldier snaked out a hand and poked his roommate’s hat squarely in the eye. The topper seemed to curl in on itself in surprise and clamped its broad teeth more tightly around the crown of his wearers head. Merasmus squeaked in alarm as his hair was pulled under his balaclava. He took off the skull and cradled it like a hurt cat as it wiggled angrily in his arms. The irate wizard snarled; "Dammit Jane!" He set the rams head gently down on a table and bared his crooked teeth at his roommate.  
This was almost where Soldier needed Merasmus to be, but he needed to push just a little bit more. His grin was wicked, "I also ate the last piece of pumpkin pie."  
"YOU WHAT?!" The hand that gripped the riding crop was shaking slightly and the glow of magick increased around the wizards face as he fumed.  
Soldier turned away, leaning his hands on the bed and presenting his ass. Coils of green fire slithered up the sides of the bed and coiled around his ankles, roughly spreading his legs.  
The first lash stung even through pants and underwear, and he bit his lip to avoid crying out. The third left him panting and by the fifth the hard-bitten merc was moaning like a well-paid whore. He fumbled with his pants and undergarments, laying his stinging skin bare for the wizard to whip. In between swats he grunted out a litany of things he'd done wrong, making Merasmus more enraged with every word. More fire sprang up and bound his wrists down to the surface of the bed. He struggled a little and the feel of the magick made solid was pleasantly warm and binding on his skin. He tried to imagine how it would feel inside him, but the blows were falling so hard and fast, it was impossible to focus.  
The wizard punctuated each blow with almost shouted words. "You *SMACK* are *THWACK* the *SLAP* worst *FWAP* roommate *SNAP* ever!"  
Soldier's dick had grown so hard it was painful, his balls were hitched high and his clenched fingers had dragged the covers off half the bed. He ground his genitals desperately against the old quilt that covered the bed, seeking whatever friction he could find. The wizard was relentless in his punishment and without Medic around it would be days before he could sit comfortably again.  
Green fire arced around Merasmus, spurring him to harder and harder swats as he spelled out his frustrations in welts on his submissive roommate. He thought of all the square-jawed heroes that had thrown him off cliffs over the centuries. The idiots always forgot that he could fly. The anger bubbled up inside him and he felt himself swell like a volcano fit to explode. Until all at once; it was gone, and the magickal bondage snapped apart as its charge faded away. He lowered the crop, breathing hard as his heart raced far too fast. Jane looked back at him questioningly, and then he rushed to catch him as he slumped to the floor. He laid the old man on the bed, and hovered over him like a worried hen.  
“Merry! Are you okay?”  
Merasmus’s eyes fluttered. “I’m okay Jane; I just got out of breath. Getting so excited isn’t good for my heart.”  
Jane curled up beside him, “I can’t even imagine losing you.”  
“Merasmus is very durable Jane. I just need a moment.” He let his head fall back onto the bed and focused on relaxing. When his breathing had slowed to a more normal pace, he felt Soldier’s hands fall onto and caress his hips. “Maybe I should make you feel good instead,” Jane whispered, in what he assumed was a sexy voice.  
“What did you have in, oh! Oh GODS!” Merasmus bucked high like he’d been electrocuted as Soldier’s hands slipped up his skinny legs and parted his thighs. He hadn’t felt this unsure about anything in centuries; his skirt and cloak were lifted and pulled up to expose him all the way to his chest. He shuddered uncontrollably as the mercs tongue swept across his inner thigh and under the edge of the wide leather cup containing his manhood. All thoughts of blood rites and virginity evaporated under the hot breath of the statuesque blonde.  
Merasmus, the villain of a thousand tales, the vile spawn of the ancients before time; was finally going to get to win. This hero with a face like a demi-god wanted nothing more then to worship between his legs. It was more then reason could accept.  
He reached down with shaking hands and untied his under-garments at the hip, letting Soldier slip them off. There was only a moment of cold air on his cock before warm lips wrapped lovingly around it. Jane wasn’t experienced giving a blow job, but he made his best effort. Slurping as he greedily sucked at the wizards other staff.  
“I want you so badly”, Jane mumbled around his mouthful, drawing the skin up and down around the shaft with his lips and tongue. He growled; “I want you to open me up and punish me for all the bad things I’ve done.” Soldier cupped his free hand around the wizard’s balls and kneaded them gently, “I never meant to hurt you Merry.”  
But Merasmus didn’t answer; he barely heard the other man’s words through the haze of pleasure that clouded his vision. Little sparks of wild magick danced on his over-heated skin, sending the pent-up desires of centuries boiling off of him like steam. Dimly he became aware of the copious amounts of cooling saliva dripping down his cock and of Soldier climbing on top of his hips, but it was far too late to stop him now. The magick needed release as much as Merasmus did.  
Jane opened himself with slick fingers, showing no mercy to his still throbbing rear. Manly men didn’t need their hands held; they could take a dick with just a bit of spit and polish. With a groan he worked the trembling necromancer’s member inside of himself, and then slid inexorably downwards onto his pelvis with a shuddering groan.  
Merasmus could see Soldiers eyes from this angle, rolling and white with arousal as he adjusted to the intrusion. And then he was gone, senses battered to dust while Soldier rode him like he was trying to catch a train.  
The bed groaned and squeaked under their activities, and in what was left of its brain, the skull island topper wished someone would turn him to face the wall instead. The wizard was howling now, clawing at Jane’s shirt with his square, black nails. Jane gasped as the cock inside of him seemed to twist to better hit all the right places as he thrust his ass downward. He could barely see Merasmus’s pupils now; his eyes were all green fire, with liquid trails of glow flowing down his wasted cheeks.  
Soldier was almost giddy, “Oh Cupcake, I’m gonna come so hard… you are so amazing.” He wrapped one hand around his own cock and yanked it as he rode, savoring the bite of bruised skin against the wizards smooth hips. He used the other to fondle Merasmus’s tiny nipples, getting a cry of pleasure as a reward for his daring.  
The coiling, tight heat around his most sorely neglected organ had Merasmus nigh incoherent with unfamiliar sensations. He spat of bits of Latin and fragments of the magick that made up most of his corporeal form. His thin fingers roamed like hyperactive spiders all over the bits of Soldier he could reach. Pulling and scratching at skin and hair, until finally managing to thrust one fist upward and punch Jane’s helmet off his head. The sudden flash of light in his eyes was so unexpected that it triggered Jane to come explosively all over the wizards pale belly.  
The subsequent squeeze of his body tensing around the wizard’s member caused him to follow suit. He’d never come in anything, human or animal before, and it had been ages since he’d come at all. Magick poured out of Merasmus and wormed its way all throughout Soldier from his ass upwards. The weird sensation left Jane feeling hollow and strange, and then he burped and billows of green smoke poured out of his mouth like a sickly dragon.  
Merasmus just stared at him; he’d never gotten a good look at Soldier’s eyes before. They were wide and blue, his look tender despite the cut of his face. “Jane, are you okay?”  
Soldier coughed lightly, letting out a few more little puffs of heavy fog. He allowed himself to fall forward, until he was hovering above Merasmus, letting his roommates softening cock slip gently out of his abused rear. He laid his cheek against Merasmus’s face and kissed him softly. “I’m all right.” He rumbled. “That was the most wonderful, most manly sex any man could wish for. It was even more fun then doing battle with you. I’m not even mad that you knocked my helmet off.”  
The wizard kind of wanted to face palm, there was definitely something awry in Soldier’s brain. But, he sighed, the man had his endearing moments. He decided to ignore his roommate’s seed drying on his skin and wrap his skinny arms around the mercenary instead. Jane let himself be pulled down and snuggled closer to Merasmus.  
Within minutes, both of them were asleep.


End file.
